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Gisele Bündchen is known to keep mum about her private life, but the Brazilian supermodel and philanthropist recently revealed in her memoir Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life that she has struggled with mental health issues.
Bündchen said she first experienced a panic attack on a plane in 2003, which led to a fear of enclosed spaces such as tunnels and elevators, People reports. “I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. […] I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad,” she said. “But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”
Bündchen also said she developed suicidal thoughts due to the gravity of her mental health problems. “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,’” she said.
The year Bündchen developed anxiety was around the time she was dating actor and producer Leonardo DiCaprio, whom she eventually broke up with in 2005. “Everyone who crosses our path is a teacher,” Bündchen said about DiCaprio. “[T]hey come into our lives to show us something about ourselves.”
The public knows the 38-year-old supermodel lives a lifestyle centered around wellness as she regularly meditates and generally eats clean, but the memoir will bring Bündchen’s walls down so that we may grasp the imperfections of a seemingly perfect life.